How do you currently see the world?
Is it a glass half-empty? Is the world over-populated? Too many people? Ecologically going down the drain? Difficult relationships?
Or is it a glass half-full? Beautiful people everywhere? Diverse? Nature and the environment are beyond measure?
Maybe it’s a mixture or you say it depends on the day, your mood, or what happens in the news?
What if I told you that the world is none of the above? That the world and your relationships are instead like blank screens and that they have no inherent or intrinsic qualities. That your mind is a projector. That you are completely projecting the world you see, the relationships you have and the very quality of those relationships. The projections have all come from what you’ve allowed into your mind and then affirmed and reaffirmed with your speech and actions?
That this is the true and only reason why the world you see looks so different from the world other people see.
That the world you see is neither a glass half empty nor half full, in fact there’s no glass at all. This is not a matter of thinking outside of the box, when you realize that there was never a box. It is not a matter of wearing rose-colored glasses, it’s a matter of understanding your mind.
Reality is a blank canvas, the world that you see if the paintbrush of your mind – there are no greens, reds, and blues and other colors out there – that is your mind.
There is no way out. This is the wisdom of no escape. You are creating the world with your intentions. Your thoughts, speech and actions.
Take complete responsibility. One way or another you are living out the world that you have made, so make it a good one.
That if you wanted to change the world you see and turn it into a beautiful world filled with love, kindness and beauty that you would have to really resist letting certain types of negative things in and work really hard to think, speak, and act positively.
That everything you do creates a potential in your mind and that potential – like a seed could grow into something very beautiful or very destructive. I’ll give you an example of how we create destructive tendencies and then explain how to create a beautiful world filled with love.
I have a client who cheated on his wife with a woman in the office. Larry says it just happened. It just happened. And he really believes this.
If was after-hours at work and Cindy was in the copy room and Larry went into the copy room and they caught each other’s eyes and one thing just led to another – and that was that – like instinct he says. He even disingenuously tells me through the mirage of insecurity that he is a really good-looking guy and women are always like this with him. Apparently to some degree it’s the woman’s fault. He goes on to ask me that if I were in the same situation if I wouldn’t be tempted to do the same thing? He then shows me a picture of her and describes how attractive she is.
But the seeds for cheating were planted long ago…it didn’t, “just happen,” in the copy room. The seeds were nurtured decades before. Forty years ago a young boy was secretly searching through Dad’s dresser and found the Playboy. Secretly he returned to these images again and again. The endless times Larry and his friends harmlessly just “checked it out,” consistently objectifying women. Combined with agreeing with and covering up another friend’s affair eight years ago. Having emotionally charged relationships and overt sexual conversations with other women. Fantasizing about other women while making love to his wife. Mix in a little tension at home with his wife and kids. Larry says it just happened – but it didn’t just happen. He planted the seeds and nurtured the latent potentials throughout his life.
The affair was the culmination of a lifetime of thoughts, speech and actions. It would have obviously been best to undo and purify the destructive latencies before the negative conduct happened obviously. But that is the gift of suffering sometimes – it forces us to pay attention and look in the mirror of our mind and discover with a little insight and wisdom where we went wrong. But for now, Larry painted his own painful reality and he’ll have to work very hard with his thoughts, speech, and actions to create a different world for himself. Simply apologizing and saying he won’t do it again are not going to erase the latencies. If he doesn’t work hard psychologically – statistically speaking – he’ll do it again.
The power of the unconscious mind to project it’s latencies is far stronger than the best of immediate willpower and intention over the long-term.
Everything can be changed, but it’s work – and a shift in worldview to understand and take responsibility for the worlds we create for ourselves. The world is a blank screen and our thoughts are indeed the projector at all times. There is no bad day. There is no wrong side of the bed. The world does not happen to us. We make our world. How do you make the world you want? How to construct a world filled with your highest aspirations? How to transform the world you see? Careful with what you put in, but be equally careful with what you put out and how you frame your reality. If you want to be truly happy you’re going to need to create a very different and very conscious blueprint.
Listen carefully – Stop saying you deserve to be happy. That’s a start. Or that you deserve a good relationship or that you are in any way entitled to anything at all. That is the giving up and loss of your power. What you deserve is the result of taking your power back and working really hard to create the life you want by changing yourself from the inside out. No more blaming and demanding that the world outside of your mind be different than it is. You need to change yourself if you want to be happy.
What I’m about to say is the great secret that’s not a secret at all all if you’ll open both your eyes and your heart.
This is where you must start to create the world you want: Recognize that kindness is being shown to you non-stop all of the time. Recognize that you live in a world of kindness. You are the result and ongoing recipient of universal loving-kindness.
Nothing good has ever happened to you in your life that was not due to the kindness of others. Your birth. Your clothes. Education. Your country. The roads. Your phone. The trash collector. People who wait on your tables in the restaurant. Your relationships. Your pets. Children. Even difficult people are teaching you lessons if you’ll reframe and pay attention. People are helping you quite literally – all of the time. Wake up and notice! Recognize that your life is filled with people helping you all of the time. Hardly a moment has passed without kindness being shown to you..every thread of the clothing that you are wearing right now is the result of kindness.
If you aren’t recognizing this there is a very precise reason. Because you’re discounting kindness. You say that’s not kindness – they’re being paid. They’re supposed to do that. If they didn’t do it someone else would.
You think you’re being clever by discounting? That you’re being smart? You’re not – you’re being very very foolish. You gain nothing from discounting except missing out on the love that is truly embracing you from every direction.
Drop your defenses and pay attention! You are surrounded by loving-kindness. Your very breath is the result of someone else exhaling. The trees, the earth and your natural environment are all providing for you. You are the living beneficiary of a great and loving universal kindness.
You live in abundance – stop being greedy and asking for more. Stop saying you deserve this and that. Take stock and be profoundly grateful for what you already have or you will never ever be satisfied with anything. Look at yourself. If you don’t like and can’t live with what you see then change your painful view. If you need help then humble yourself and ask for help. But whatever it takes – stop living in a self-created world of pain and begin to love and be profoundly grateful for what you already have and had. You live in a beautiful world full of never-ending wonder and potential – don’t miss it.
Rewind the videotape of your mind. Go back as far as you can and replay all of the kindnesses you can from your Mom teaching how to tie your shoes to your first-grade teacher teaching you how to read. Slow down. Take a day off. Fast forward through this precious beautiful life of yours. Your life has been a shower of kindness and love from others.
Once you recognize that kindness has been shown to you breathe deeply all the way down to the lower part of the diaphragm. If you’re breath holding then you’re resisting at the somatic level. Stop bracing yourself and resisting the kindness. Breathe it in. You are blessed – beyond fortunate. Breathe in the love that’s been shown to you.
Loving-kindness is a gift. No one has to be helping you. They simply are. Stop the discounting and be grateful to be alive. Be grateful that you have so much love in your life. You live with plenty. You have more than enough to be happy. Everything from here is the cherry on top. You aren’t here for very long so love deeply while you are and embrace the love that you have been so freely given. Love is a gift.
Finally acknowledge one last piece: That the kindness that had been shown to you has changed your life. Where would you be without the kindness that has been shown to you at every level? You are and have been the recipient of loving-kindness every step of the way along this long and interesting journey. Open your good heart now. Allow the love that is present to stream into your life – It’s all around you. Recognize now where a loving-world comes from. Love comes in from acceptance of the world around you. Love is created in projected out by your own mind, your speech and your actions, True and lasting happiness comes from this recognition. Happiness does not come from money and material things. The greatest happiness is love, and love is immaterial.
Have a beautiful day. You live in a beautiful world. If you don’t see it – make it so. Grow and nourish the seeds of your good heart