Responsibly Projecting Your Reality

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A very common stumbling block on the Path to Awakening is that after coming to terms and experiencing that you are indeed living in your own projective reality – after the initial excitement wears off, “Wait a second, what are the implications?”

The implications are that you are both 100% responsible for not only your emotions but that you are also 100% responsible for your projections…

You want to be happy, and you don’t want to suffer so you realize you must maintain the view of complete responsibility for the relationship to the world and all relationships that are created by your own mind.

And you can’t just change your thinking…your speech and actions, which are the active derivatives of your thinking, must also change. Far from realization being a passive exercise in sitting and meditating the results are reflected in your conduct.

Yes, you are projecting your reality – therefore it is not the case that your thoughts, speech, and actions don’t matter – the opposite is true. Your thoughts speech and actions matter tremendously because everything is empty of inherent or intrinsic reality…your love, compassion, generosity, and your conduct creates your world, combined with your focused attention and insight.

The willingness to play in the field of your projections wisely determines the very reality field you are playing in.

Mindfulness Based. Wise and Inspired Counseling. In person, by phone, or Skype: 941.416.1890 or michael@mbsgroup.org

Shine☀️

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Wish to neither possess nor be possessed. Covetousness is not love. Attachment to illusion is not loyalty.

Allowing possessions to define you is a tacit admission that you have no idea who you are at all. So let’s state it cleanly – you have not owned anything, do not own anything and never will.

It may appear to you as though you are profiting, but in the end you are only feeding the delusion. You know very well that all of these appearances could be gone in a moment, so just what kind of investment is this? Don’t you think it’s time to stop allowing these illusions to consume your remaining time?

Transparent and vulnerable self-observation is the first step in awakening inner revelation. You will see that your experiences do not form you – you form yourself by understanding your experiences.

The character in this movie of yours seems to have all of these very interesting ideas about you, but all of his ideas keep coming up short – and are still all about him.

Make an allowance to stop betraying your wisdom. It’s quite possible to perceive your ego without being involved. When you make peace with yourself you’ll be at peace with everything. Isn’t it time for peace?

When we do not realize the formless nature of all things, we cling to these forms, and when these forms change, as they inevitably do, we suffer because of our attachments to them.

In order to bring light to the world you can’t be afraid to shine. To truly shine we must resist clinging to the false promises of materialism. The greatest beauty lies in the greatest clarity.

“He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at.” ~Epictetus

Mindfulness Based. Wise and Inspired Counseling. In person, by phone, or Skype: 941.416.1890 or michael@mbsgroup.org

Don’t be too important to ask for help. And don’t be too scared. Don’t let your problems consume you and those you love.

Letter To A Friend❤

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Your first obligation as a dignified human being on the contemplative path is to stop inviting chaos into your life and the lives of those you love.

You have outgrown yourself.

The same old tired identity and life plan just isn’t working anymore. It’s time to retreat inward and gather your resources once again. You must discover yourself in solitude to learn how not to be be defined by others and the world.

When you look within to discover the depths of the pain and your own being at the end you will find nothing, and then develop this fortitude – resist filling the void. Rest in the not finding. Love, that not finding anything when you look for yourself is the finding. And in that resting you will discover your true value – that your nothingness is neither a vacuum nor a void, but instead is the ground of your limitless potential. You have a voice that doesn’t use words – that voice is silence. Listen to that voice.

Every emotion you have ever experienced is the relationship to your own projective reality – not to any other world or person out there independent of your own mind. It is your deepest pain that will empower you to realize this highest awareness.

Everything that seems to be happening to you is only appearing on the screen of your own consciousness – when you realize this nothing can harm you or make you afraid. When reality is observed through this lens you will know that the suffering you have experienced only happened for you to discover your depth, humility, compassion, quiet grace and dignity. You will love the freedom that comes from no longer seeking approval and validation. You will relieve yourself of denying your pain to make others comfortable. The transmutation will be painful, but don’t fear that you are falling apart, you are only turning into something beautiful. Allow every pain to be a teaching, make an allowance for your every suffering to move you closer to realization.

This time try loving yourself instead of loving the idea of other people loving you. No matter what you say I will keep telling you that you are important, loving, intelligent, worthy of your own self-respect, beautiful, creative, brave, strong and able until you realize it for yourself.

Mindfulness Based. Wise and Inspired Counseling. In person, by phone, or Skype: 941.416.1890 or michael@mbsgroup.org

May you be happy, may you be well, safe, peaceful and at ease.

Old Lang Syne

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Her creative mind left malnourished destructively devoured itself. Neck deep in bland security, the soulless high walls left her painfully out of touch with her gypsy-esque beginnings. Eventually she chose passion over love, and like a fool that played with thorned stems – in her bored and middling years she dismissively rejected the blossoms.

 

The time drifted. He watched his love slip away and chose to care for her in passive silence, for there he found no rejection. He treasured her with a distant heart, and pretended the distance shielded him from the pain.

 

The deafening mistrust grew until their love went unspoken and numbingly vacant. Dream years past, barely recognizable pictures, only faded images and wrinkled memories remained.

 

I listen intently to their explanations and their half-hearted attempts to repair and amend, confusedly desperate to feel both lovingly wanted and shamefully rejected. Neither wants this familiar misery to end but they also cannot bring themselves to begin again.

 

I take no sides in this well-worn theme. The time glossed over with children, weekends, vacations, and of course their share of tragedies. But these weren’t the lives that either imagined, enmeshed together with the disarming comfort of the passionless familiar.

 

Nearing the end of this play, in the autumn of their years – they feel saddened to stay, but compelled to move on. An unknown future awaits – and at this crossroads I encourage them to follow their passion and leave the door open to the possibility of a beautiful if not distant friendship.

 

They spoke of past innocence and old adventures while the conversation ran its course. She kissed him one last time. As she drove away, she contemplated the good times they’d had so long ago, and with it came the return of that old familiar pain. When she left, the red lights blurred, and the snow turned into rain.

 

Mediated  transitional  relationship counseling is offered.

Mindfulness Based. Wise and Inspired Counseling. In person, by phone, or Skype: 941.416.1890 or michael@mbsgroup.org

Instagram: mindmichael
Blog: www.mindfulnessbeyondtherapy.com

The Power and Strength of Bearing Witness🙏❤

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Pray with me today – May I have eyes that see the best in people, a love that forgives the worst, and a soul that never loses faith in the hopeful and limitless possibility of others. Today may I have the courage to remain open and vulnerable. May I once more have the compassion to listen deeply into the depths and pain of another’s heart.

 

A witness assures that our stories are heard, contained and transcend time. Experiences in my own life and in my practice as a counselor and minister have caused me to concur with Maya Angelou that, “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you.” But what produces the power and strength of witnessing, for the teller and often for the witness as well? How exactly does bearing witness benefit an individual? How is it reparative to us? And how do we, as fellow human beings help others bear nearly unbearable experiences?

 

Bearing witness is a term that, used in psychology, refers to sharing our experiences with others, most notably in the communication to others of traumatic experiences. Bearing witness is a valuable way to process an experience, to obtain empathy and support, to lighten our emotional load via sharing it with the witness, and to obtain catharsis. Most people bear witness daily, and not only in reaction to traumatic events. We bear witness to one another through our writing, through art, and by verbally simply sharing with others.

 

From a psychological perspective, it is widely confirmed in the literature on the treatment of survivors of trauma, sexual abuse, and incest that validation in the course of and bearing witness is vital and necessary in remembering traumatic memories and in the healing process. And what about a story that remains unacknowledged? Does our story hold the same weight, the same significance, in the absence of a witness? Is our reality different, less meaningful perhaps, if we have no one to bear witness? If no one empathically listens to the story of our life? It seems so.

 

Sometimes an experience is so profound, there are no words, and we endure in silence. Yet, the emotional price of remaining silent, without a witness, is costly. Move past your inaction, don’t waste more years to share what you feel and what has transpired in prolonged silence. Sometimes the harboring, that is our greatest burden.

 

And what about our experience of bearing witness in counseling? Trauma survivors often cite the importance of the therapist’s validating role in their treatment; the simple act of accepting an individual’s life story can be highly therapeutic. While bearing witness is vital in the therapeutic recovery from trauma, we all have our stories to tell, even in the absence of trauma. I fondly recall the gratitude I have felt toward my own witness, whom I often refer to as an exceptional “memory keeper” and a “remarkable witness.” A witness to the story of my life, with all of its pain and joy. Sharing ourselves with others opens up a space where there once was none. Only through such space can positive memories occur and resilience prevail.

 

Although the tale of human experience is certainly universal, it contains unique elements for each us and we continue the art of storytelling, both verbally and nonverbally, each and every day. While some stories are sweeter than others, all long for the benefit and necessity of a witness, for a witness assures us that our stories are heard, contained, and transcend time; for it can be said that one is never truly forgotten when one is shared and carried in the hearts of others.

 

I would like to introduce Don Ritchie, the now deceased, “Angel of the Gap,” and one of my many unsung heroes. Mr. Ritchie is someone who gave living meaning to the term ‘Bearing Witness.’

 

For nearly five decades he gazed out of his Sydney home overlooking the Pacific Ocean, inspired by one of Australia’s most picturesque views. But it was not just a love for the sea that drew him to the dramatic panorama.

 

Don Ritchie’s window-watching had a far greater purpose. Since l964 he saved at least 160 lives, though some say the true figure is much higher. Mr Ritchie, who died two years ago at the age of 86, was known as the Angel of the Gap, a title earned for persuading people not to throw themselves off the notorious Australian suicide spot.

 

Like Beachy Head on the Sussex coast, the sheer cliffs at the mouth of Sydney harbour have long acted as a magnet to those who have lost all hope. But thanks to his calm voice and sympathetic manner, Mr Ritchie offered a helping hand to the desperate by engaging them in conversation on the cliff-top in their hour of need.

 

A modest man who did not court celebrity or praise, Mr Ritchie would spot would-be suicides from his home and slowly walk across the road to them. At the cliff-edge he would simply smile and ask them, “Can I help you in some way?” More often than not the quiet approach worked, though on some occasions he risked his own life by physically restraining the more determined from making their final leap.

 

Afterwards he would invite them back to his home for a cup of tea and a chat and occasionally they would return years later to thank him for saving their life. One survivor gave him a painting of an angel with the rays of the sun and the simple message: “An angel who walks amongst us.”

 

My ambition has always been to just get them away from the edge, to buy them time, to give them the opportunity to reflect and give them the chance to realize that things might look better the next morning,” he once confided.

 

“You just can’t sit there and watch them,” he added. “You’ve got to try and save them.”

 

Mr Ritchie’s daughter, Sue, said her father enjoyed his ocean view, but was equally determined to watch out for troubled souls. He once said an offer of help “was all that was needed to turn people around and he would say not to underestimate the power of a kind word and a smile,” she told the Sydney Morning Herald.

 

He was “a great mixture of strength and compassion… an everyday person who did an extraordinary thing for many people that saved their lives, without any want of recognition,” she added.

 

Mr Ritchie was a seaman in the Royal Australian Navy during the Second World War and witnessed the Japanese surrender in Tokyo Bay in l945.

 

Back in Sydney he worked in the insurance industry. He would later tell friends of the people he had saved: “I was a salesman for most of my life and I sold them life.”

How To Create A Beautiful World. Starting Today❤

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How do you currently see the world?
Is it a glass half-empty? Is the world over-populated? Too many people? Ecologically going down the drain? Difficult relationships?
Or is it a glass half-full? Beautiful people everywhere? Diverse? Nature and the environment are beyond measure? 
Maybe it’s a mixture or you say it depends on the day, your mood, or what happens in the news?

What if I told you that the world is none of the above? That the world and your relationships are instead like blank screens and that they have no inherent or intrinsic qualities. That your mind is a projector. That you are completely projecting the world you see, the relationships you have and the very quality of those relationships. The projections have all come from what you’ve allowed into your mind and then affirmed and reaffirmed with your speech and actions?

That this is the true and only reason why the world you see looks so different from the world other people see.

That the world you see is neither a glass half empty nor half full, in fact there’s no glass at all. This is not a matter of thinking outside of the box, when you realize that there was never a box. It is not a matter of wearing rose-colored glasses, it’s a matter of understanding your mind.

Reality is a blank canvas, the world that you see if the paintbrush of your mind – there are no greens, reds, and blues and other colors out there – that is your mind.

There is no way out. This is the wisdom of no escape. You are creating the world with your intentions. Your thoughts, speech and actions.

Take complete responsibility. One way or another you are living out the world that you have made, so make it a good one.

That if you wanted to change the world you see and turn it into a beautiful world filled with love, kindness and beauty that you would have to really resist letting certain types of negative things in and work really hard to think, speak, and act positively.

That everything you do creates a potential in your mind and that potential – like a seed could grow into something very beautiful or very destructive. I’ll give you an example of how we create destructive tendencies and then explain how to create a beautiful world filled with love.

I have a client who cheated on his wife with a woman in the office. Larry says it just happened. It just happened. And he really believes this.

If was after-hours at work and Cindy was in the copy room and Larry went into the copy room and they caught each other’s eyes and one thing just led to another – and that was that – like instinct he says. He even disingenuously tells me through the mirage of insecurity that he is a really good-looking guy and women are always like this with him. Apparently to some degree it’s the woman’s fault. He goes on to ask me that if I were in the same situation if I wouldn’t be tempted to do the same thing? He then shows me a picture of her and describes how attractive she is.

 
But the seeds for cheating were planted long ago…it didn’t, “just happen,” in the copy room. The seeds were nurtured decades before. Forty years ago a young boy was secretly searching through Dad’s dresser and found the Playboy. Secretly he returned to these images again and again. The endless times Larry and his friends harmlessly just “checked it out,” consistently objectifying women. Combined with agreeing with and covering up another friend’s affair eight years ago. Having emotionally charged relationships and overt sexual conversations with other women. Fantasizing about other women while making love to his wife. Mix in a little tension at home with his wife and kids. Larry says it just happened – but it didn’t just happen. He planted the seeds and nurtured the latent potentials throughout his life.

 
The affair was the culmination of a lifetime of thoughts, speech and actions. It would have obviously been best to undo and purify the destructive latencies before the negative conduct happened obviously. But that is the gift of suffering sometimes – it forces us to pay attention and look in the mirror of our mind and discover with a little insight and wisdom where we went wrong. But for now, Larry painted his own painful reality and he’ll have to work very hard with his thoughts, speech, and actions to create a different world for himself. Simply apologizing and saying he won’t do it again are not going to erase the latencies. If he doesn’t work hard psychologically – statistically speaking – he’ll do it again.

 

The power of the unconscious mind to project it’s latencies is far stronger than the best of immediate willpower and intention over the long-term.
Everything can be changed, but it’s work – and a shift in worldview to understand and take responsibility for the worlds we create for ourselves. The world is a blank screen and our thoughts are indeed the projector at all times. There is no bad day. There is no wrong side of the bed. The world does not happen to us. We make our world. How do you make the world you want? How to construct a world filled with your highest aspirations? How to transform the world you see? Careful with what you put in, but be equally careful with what you put out and how you frame your reality. If you want to be truly happy you’re going to need to create a very different and very conscious blueprint.

 
Listen carefully – Stop saying you deserve to be happy. That’s a start. Or that you deserve a good relationship or that you are in any way entitled to anything at all. That is the giving up and loss of your power. What you deserve is the result of taking your power back and working really hard to create the life you want by changing yourself from the inside out. No more blaming and demanding that the world outside of your mind be different than it is. You need to change yourself if you want to be happy.

 

What I’m about to say is the great secret that’s not a secret at all all if you’ll open both your eyes and your heart.

 
This is where you must start to create the world you want: Recognize that kindness is being shown to you non-stop all of the time. Recognize that you live in a world of kindness. You are the result and ongoing recipient of universal loving-kindness.
Nothing good has ever happened to you in your life that was not due to the kindness of others. Your birth. Your clothes. Education. Your country. The roads. Your phone. The trash collector. People who wait on your tables in the restaurant. Your relationships. Your pets. Children. Even difficult people are teaching you lessons if you’ll reframe and pay attention. People are helping you quite literally – all of the time. Wake up and notice! Recognize that your life is filled with people helping you all of the time. Hardly a moment has passed without kindness being shown to you..every thread of the clothing that you are wearing right now is the result of kindness.

 
If you aren’t recognizing this there is a very precise reason. Because you’re discounting kindness. You say that’s not kindness – they’re being paid. They’re supposed to do that. If they didn’t do it someone else would.

 
You think you’re being clever by discounting? That you’re being smart? You’re not – you’re being very very foolish. You gain nothing from discounting except missing out on the love that is truly embracing you from every direction.

 
Drop your defenses and pay attention! You are surrounded by loving-kindness. Your very breath is the result of someone else exhaling. The trees, the earth and your natural environment are all providing for you. You are the living beneficiary of a great and loving universal kindness.

 
You live in abundance – stop being greedy and asking for more. Stop saying you deserve this and that. Take stock and be profoundly grateful for what you already have or you will never ever be satisfied with anything. Look at yourself. If you don’t like and can’t live with what you see then change your painful view. If you need help then humble yourself and ask for help. But whatever it takes – stop living in a self-created world of pain and begin to love and be profoundly grateful for what you already have and had. You live in a beautiful world full of never-ending wonder and potential – don’t miss it.

 
Rewind the videotape of your mind. Go back as far as you can and replay all of the kindnesses you can from your Mom teaching how to tie your shoes to your first-grade teacher teaching you how to read. Slow down. Take a day off. Fast forward through this precious beautiful life of yours. Your life has been a shower of kindness and love from others.

 
Once you recognize that kindness has been shown to you breathe deeply all the way down to the lower part of the diaphragm. If you’re breath holding then you’re resisting at the somatic level. Stop bracing yourself and resisting the kindness. Breathe it in. You are blessed – beyond fortunate. Breathe in the love that’s been shown to you.

 
Loving-kindness is a gift. No one has to be helping you. They simply are. Stop the discounting and be grateful to be alive. Be grateful that you have so much love in your life. You live with plenty. You have more than enough to be happy. Everything from here is the cherry on top. You aren’t here for very long so love deeply while you are and embrace the love that you have been so freely given. Love is a gift.

 
Finally acknowledge one last piece: That the kindness that had been shown to you has changed your life. Where would you be without the kindness that has been shown to you at every level? You are and have been the recipient of loving-kindness every step of the way along this long and interesting journey. Open your good heart now. Allow the love that is present to stream into your life – It’s all around you. Recognize now where a loving-world comes from. Love comes in from acceptance of the world around you. Love is created in projected out by your own mind, your speech and your actions, True and lasting happiness comes from this recognition. Happiness does not come from money and material things. The greatest happiness is love, and love is immaterial.

 

Have a beautiful day. You live in a beautiful world. If you don’t see it – make it so. Grow and nourish the seeds of your good heart

Facing Yourself

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One by one clients (soon to be friends) come into my space – lovely people, often hurt, scarred and wounded, but all of them, without exception are on a path to healing and self-discovery. In the beginning they point the finger of responsibility at their husbands, their wives, former lovers, their friends, co-workers and enemies. I’ll listen for awhile, gather the larger picture, and then pause the conversation.

 

From a childhood filled with hurt and anger I empathize. I’m all too familiar with blaming others and circumstances for my problems. It was a waste of energy then, and it would certainly be a waste of energy now – too conscious, too aware. Self-deception doesn’t last long these days. Like everyone, I’m fallible and human, prone to error and mistakes. I listen with this ear, with this understanding – that we are in process. We are unfolding and the pain that we experience is the medium that brings us to awareness.

 

We will never arrive at an understanding of ourselves by blaming another for our darkness. They may not be grateful, they may have lied, cheated, deceived and worse. They also are not likely willing to face themselves. No matter. If you want to grow, if you want to transform, with each instance of pain – look inward. Instead people unfortunately will do almost anything to avoid facing themselves, no matter how absurd. You must look into the darkness of your own attachments, ego-clinging, and fear in order to see the light.

 

I redirect every client, as I redirect myself, every time the finger pointing goes outward – bring it back. You alone are ultimately responsible for your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. You alone are responsible for your happiness. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, as your reality is a projection of your own. Inoculate yourself to the speech and actions of others by looking inward, and you will no longer be the victim of unnecessary suffering.

 

Looking inward is no easy task – you’re the one in the frame, so it’s hard to see the picture. Often people are so busy, that even if they have the tools, they don’t bother to utilize them. Lost in the hustle of their own busyness while their lives fall apart around them. Overwhelming at times. When you’re ready to slow down, when the blame game stops working, when you’re ready to face yourself, the good work that you’re here for, your own transformation, will begin again.

 

As always, if you need help in seeing yourself deeply, and have the courage to reach out, we’re here. Friends on the path.

What You Think About and Taking Responsibility for Your Thinking Matters

  

    No one is making you think anything, and yes – you may have been heavily conditioned up until now, but in this moment – just exactly who is responsible for recognizing and letting go of destructive thoughts and emotions? In this moment who exactly is responsible for wise, skillful and liberating thinking? 

    The way you think matters. Let’s rethink the way we’ve been coming about the psychopharmacological model. Does your thinking change your neuro-chemistry? Or does your neuro-chemistry change your thinking? In other words do people really have a chemical imbalance (whatever that means?) or do you have an repetitive irrational destructive thinking imbalance? (Such as I’m hopeless).The supposed easy way out is to always say that people have a “chemical imbalance.” Where does responsibility for your thinking lie with this model?

     Read below. What you think about matters a great deal for your biology and neuro chemistry and your overall well-being.

    Thinking and Molecular Gene Change

    I recently had dinner with a pharmaceutical representative from Pfizer. The representative stated, “that we know the chemicals in the anti-depressants don’t work, but people believe that they do and they think that they get better so what’s the big deal?”

    Besides being completely unethical here’s a few reasons: Loss of libido. Weight gain. Suicidal ideation when trying to come off of these medications. Forgetting the last one – ask anyone what loss of libido does to your relationships and self-confidence. Anti-depressants are far from innocuous. What’s the point anyway when for free you can change your thinking habits and feel great about yourself? In more than 95% of all diagnosed cases (mild to moderate depression) there is no statistical relationship in any seratonin change. Only in cases of severe depression is there any noticeable difference. 

    Why not learn how to change your thinking? Why not learn how to let thoughts and emotions come and go instead of suffering for them incessantly and unnecessarily? And as you will read below – it’s simply more intelligent and healthier to empower yourself to do so.
    Stimulant effects can include:

    • Hypomania/mania /Insomnia
    • Nervousness Anxiety
    • Agitation Central nervous system stimulation
    • Frequent emotional changes Tremor
    • Sweating Palpitation
    • Paranoia Psychosis
    • Hostility Euphoria


    No one is making you think anything, and yes – you may have been heavily conditioned up until now, but in this moment – just exactly who is responsible for recognizing and letting go of destructive thoughts and emotions? In this moment who exactly is responsible for wise, skillful and liberating thinking? 

    The Three Scopes 

      

    The Lowest Scope Person is someone who believes that this life is all that there is. This type of person believes that reality is coming at their awareness and they are merely experiencing and trying to make sense of it. They believe that when the physical body ceases functioning that their non-material awareness/consciousness discontinues. 

    The lowest scope person is generally a hedonist nihilist – meaning that they will say things like, “you only live once,” to justify focusing their lives on immediate sense faculty urges and temptations. Their ethics and morality will largely consist of doing what is legal so long as they don’t get caught – which may extend all the way to a sometimes empathetic, “I will do onto others as I would have them do unto me.” Most importantly this type of person marginally accepts the causality of thoughts, speech, and actions. 

    The lowest scope person does not believe that they will experience the results of ALL of their behaviors – curiously – only some. The lowest scope person believes (and I would add without evidence) that with the material death of the body – the game is over – and consequently the way that they conduct themselves in this life is substantially different from the middling scope practitioner. Even worse this type of person may believe that there could be something beyond this life but simply doesn’t prepare for what they might find.

    The Middling Scope Person prepares for the hereafter believing that when the material body dies that there is a next life and that an aspect of themselves, typically referred to as a Soul or Atman (Higher Self) continues.This person believes that their ethical actions in this life will result in their immaterial Soul being redirected to another destination (often an eternal destination with no chance of effecting a different outcome) typically referred to as Heaven or Hell. 

    The middling scope person often, but does not always believe that a higher power will assess their conduct in this life and make the decision about where their Soul will eternally reside in the hereafter; Subsequently the middling scope person often moderates their ethical behavior in this in hopes/fears of this eternal outcome.

    The Highest Scope Person understands awareness to be timeless. This person accepts that the reality (the world and others) that they are experiencing is being manifested from their own awareness in the form of sense faculty arising and thinking. 

    The highest scope person realizes that awareness-consciousness is not material, but instead interacts (not separate from) with materiality through mental labeling or imputation. They believe that reality itself in all of its varied forms is an expression of mind. Consequently the highest scope practitioner focuses their energy in this life on living a life of ethical integrity knowing that they will experience the result of their thoughts, speech, and actions. This type of person does not blame others or the world for their troubles, instead they accept full responsibility for their lives. 

    Ultimately the highest scope person with dedicated focus begins through their restrained conduct to purposefully create a life and a world of their own making – and then resides in that world. This type of practitioner realizes that even their own physical body is not separate from awareness. Consequently the highest scope practitioner believes (with good reason and direct experience) that awareness is timeless, imprintable and is and will always manifest the result of their conduct perfectly. This being’s raison d’être is one of compassion: to help others to stop suffering, and show them the path to enlightenment. This type of being is an Awakened One – awakened to the experience of ultimate reality and acts with generosity and compassionately in accordance with this Highest Scope.

    Being In An Extraordinary Relationship Might Mean Finding The Courage to Stop This One!

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    Please never settle for a lackluster, a painful, or even worse – an abusive relationship. What are you (or were you) thinking? You’re fully capable of being happy and in a healthy, extraordinary relationship!

    Finding the courage to leave a relationship that’s over is a battle I watch many of my clients go through, and we’ve all been there. The usual questions and ruminating thought processes are: The pain of repeatedly wondering, How can I be sure it’s over? I’d rather be in this than face the fear of being alone and starting the long process of starting all over again. What will people think? It will be too messy financially, and if there are children involved, what kind of message am I telling them if I quit? Can’t we work through this? What about counseling? Isn’t love enough?

    When we begin to probe deeper, the checklist in sum or in part that it may be time to move on includes but isn’t restricted to:

    • The sexual intimacy is absent or has become rote or a duty, the blame game (exacerbated by name-calling) has become quietly or overtly routine, only one or neither side enjoys spending time together, the feeling of walking on eggshells in the presence of the other person, the absence of joy, the shared goals and vision of the relationship have diminished or are absent, the thoughts of being with another person are becoming frequent or emotional and/or sexual contact with other prospects has begun.
    • Don’t wait for the other person to end it when you know it’s over! The worst thing you can do in this situation is to begin behaving so poorly that the other person will be forced to end this because of the pain associated with your destructive behaviors. Be compassionate, end the self-sabotage and confront the fear.
    • Can’t we walk it back to how it used to be? Try again? You feel like you’ve exhausted all efforts, and you’re still there. It’s okay to give yourself permission to stop, to let go, to value yourself and the other person enough to move on. It’s okay to stop the fight. Admitting that it’s over does not equate to failure. With maturity and emotional responsibility there’s even the possibility of friendship in the future. Trust that you’ll be okay, that you’ll handle the outcome, you’ll survive and life will begin again. It’s vital to confront your fears, to not waste your life away in an angry roommate scenario, to go on and live your life. At the end of the day, you are not responsible for how the other person feels or their actions, but you are completely responsible for yours. If you need help, it’s okay to reach out to find resolution. You’re worth it. You can be in an extraordinary relationship, one that you’ve always dreamed of, you either need to reinvent this one, or find the courage to move on to the next. Either way, confront the fear.

    Free your mind.